Revelstokian shares painful addiction experiences and her pathway to care

Throughout my life I have had the opportunity to meet many strong, empowered individuals and their stories of change and transformation are so inspiring that they make you sit up and think, ‘How can I bring more of that into my life?’ One such individual came into my life last weekend and this is her story.

Names and details changed to protect the privacy of the individual.

“Over the course of my drinking career I almost lost it all — my family, my friends, my partner, my future and my life.”

As Jane and I walk along the flats in Revelstoke on a particularly sunny, fall day, I’m struck by how freely and openly she shares her pains, her joys, her strengths and her weaknesses. She truly is in a place of freedom and acceptance that many of us strive for. But her life was not always so harmonious.

“When you feel morally degraded more often than not, it becomes apparent that there is a problem. I remember waking up on numerous occasions after a night out on the town full of shame, guilt and remorse. Half the time I couldn’t even remember all the events that transpired the night before. Then it would hit me later on that yes, in fact I was staggering around the snowy streets with only one shoe on in the middle of the night. Or coming to, more than once, in the front seat of my vehicle knowing full well that I drove home from a party the night before in a blackout. The agony of waking up in a stranger’s bed was the worst. Not knowing what happened, or how I got there. I cringe thinking about all these embarrassing drunken stupors I had in my day.”

“I am now mostly OK with the events that took place in my life, even the painful memories that have brought me to this moment. However, if I knew then what I know now I might have made some different choices. For example I wouldn’t have broken an amazing man’s heart by being unfaithful while wasted out of my mind. I am lucky that all this is so far behind me, and I am finally in a really good place now.”

Jane’s drinking started as a way to escape the way she was feeling, the emotions she was struggling with and the topics she couldn’t openly discuss with her parents. “It was a way to fit in, a way to let loose, and a way to express myself free of inhibitions.” Jane explains, “When I was black-out drunk, I didn’t have to deal with life. Everything just shut off in my mind and was quiet for once.”

After yet another particularly bad night, Jane couldn’t carry on this way anymore and decided to get clean and sober. She found an AA drop-in meeting and started her journey to sobriety and getting back to who she truly was. Things were starting to look up for Jane … until they weren’t.

“When I stopped drinking, that’s when my mental health stuff really became a challenge.”

The drinking was a way for her to block out the negative thoughts, the anxiety and the depression. Now that these things were at the surface, she knew she had to face them head on.

“Quitting drinking seemed much more achievable than dealing with the mental health stuff. At the time there were no open or free drop-in supports like AA or NA. Scheduling appointments, finding the right counselor, and the high cost of quality programs and medication all became barriers to finding the support that she needed. “Knowing that there were alternative ways of getting healthy like yoga, meditation and other holistic therapies helped immensely, but this took a while to connect with.”

Jane wonders how a document like the Pathway to Care, truthful information on chemical balancing medication and additional drop-in resources would have helped her journey to wellness happen a lot quicker.

“I have come to accept the choices I have made in my past, and not beat myself up over them anymore. I’ve learned from them and have become a better person. I share my story, my ups, my downs, my highs and my lows so that others might relate and realize they aren’t alone.”

Jane wishes she had had more options or known where to go for help sooner. “I might have not had to go so far down the scale before being able to come back up.” If you are struggling just like Jane was, and are now ready to make a change like her, and strive for the serenity and peace she now has in her life reach out for help before it’s too late.

As we walk along the interconnected trails that once were roads, make decisions on which way to turn as we meander that day, I’m reminded that we all have multiple paths on which our journey can take us and sometimes a guiding light can help us to choose the path to wellness, to choose the Pathway to Care.

Please join us on Wednesday, October 18 from 10:30 a.m.–12 p.m. in the community centre for the reveal of the Pathways to Care: a network of resources, services and practitioners who agree to work together to support children, youth and families with mental health and substance use challenges. Also, if you’re on your journeyed to recovery, or want to share your story, contact me at [email protected] to share your story and support positive change within our community.