Learning comes from hard times, making mistakes. Doing things over and over again until we learn and develop knowledge. Learning is a part of our healing process; for example, we’ll make the same mistake until we realize that we need to change something to shift that pattern. Learning comes from reading, education from trained professionals, or people with a lot of experience.
Healing comes from love and support. From slowing down. From listening to our bodies. It comes from education but also from an ability to pay attention to what’s causing us harm. Healing is inspired by feeling compassion.
We often seek help to heal ourselves, whether it’s for physical or emotional wounds — and for good reason! Modern medicine offers incredible resources and knowledge to help us heal. We’re an incredibly intelligent society that’s figured out how to heal in ways that one hundred years ago weren’t possible.
We use various modalities, people, and resources to uncover the best methodologies and science to heal and support us.
In respect to emotional wellness, we’re currently learning so much. We’re starting to understand the complexity of the nervous system and how it impacts our behaviours, illnesses, emotional distress, enjoyment of life, and relationships. We’re still early in understanding the complex workings of our emotional health, and I suspect in the next fifty years we will see immense growth in this field.
I’ve made so many mistakes in my own journey of healing. I believed my healing was dependent on others, which made me feel disempowered and incapable of knowing what was best for me. Our society advocates for seeking answers, which is important, but we can’t put all our trust in others when it concerns our own healing or the healing of someone we’re responsible for (e.g., a child). It’s become normalized to put our well-being in other people’s hands, yet I think we disconnect from our own knowing and understanding of our bodies when we do this consistently.
Our bodies are constantly speaking in wise ways, we’ve just been taught to not listen or understand. We blow past fatigue to show up for others, we sense someone doesn’t have our best interest in mind but allow them into our lives.
What I’ve uncovered with the use of various healing modalities is that I’ve been able to get relief and recover from acute stressors on my body. I’ve been able to heal some of my bigger and most impactful health issues by listening to my own guidance and utilizing outside resources alongside my own knowing.
If someone is certain they know what you need, it’s worth treading lightly. Someone who thinks they have answers for others is often driven by ego or insecurities. They might have the skills and knowledge to help you, but someone claiming that their way is the best for you might be playing God.
Healing is supported when we are heard and understood. Healing happens when our nervous system is able to relax and we’re able to resource our own bodies to help with recovery. The most powerful thing is to feel loved and supported. It’s powerful medicine. Healing comes from loving the places within us that are imperfect, it’s not about healing everything to be healed, it’s about loving the parts within us that are hard to love.
Let’s stop telling people what they need to do to heal. Let’s show them we care by listening lovingly without telling them what they need. Let’s ask them what they need instead. So many people, including me, offer emotional healing and practices that are designed to help others. But we don’t know what’s best for someone else, although it’s easy to think we do.
I’ve learned that when I think I know what’s best for someone else, or I try to interpret their experience and give my two cents, I’m only seeing part of the picture. No one knows the whole picture, no one can understand you like you can.
The best way to support others is by being compassionate and listening. Try to understand what someone else is going through instead of telling them what they’re going through.
If we do this for others, maybe more people will be able to heal.
Noelle Bovon